What If the Hardest Part of Leadership Isn’t Learning—But Unlearning?

As I prepared my talk for INBOUND 2025, one realization hit harder than anything else:

We won’t close the leadership gap by adding more training, tools, or playbooks.

We’ll close it by unlearning the ones that no longer serve us.

We’ve been taught all the wrong things

Somewhere along the way, we absorbed a deeply limiting story about leadership:

• That it looks a certain way

• That “qualified” means familiar

• That empathy is a nice-to-have

• That inclusion is noble, but not necessary

• That hiring “the best candidate” means equity will sort itself out

And we wonder why the same people keep making the same decisions with the same blind spots.

We don’t just need to learn new leadership skills.

We need to unlearn the assumptions that built the gap in the first place.

The moment that woke me up

I was leading revenue at a regional theatre company, responsible for selling every ticket and filling every seat. But when it came to shaping how we marketed our shows—photoshoots, creative direction, narrative framing—I wasn’t invited in.

I was told, sincerely, that as a mom of two young kids, I probably didn’t have the energy or creative bandwidth to lead a photoshoot.

I was the one accountable for earned revenue. But the creative decisions that directly impacted demand? Made by others. Always men.

At first, it felt personal. But eventually, I saw it for what it was: a leadership gap disguised as tradition. It wasn’t about photos. It was about power.

Unlearning isn’t just introspective—it’s operational

Unlearning shows up in our systems, not just our self-talk. It means asking hard questions, like:

• Are we promoting potential—or just polish?

• Are we listening to outlier voices—or filtering for “culture fit”?

• Are we designing performance reviews that reward sameness—or making space for different leadership styles?

And for those of us who’ve succeeded in these systems?

It means asking: Am I willing to let go of the things that worked for me if they don’t serve others coming up behind me?

That’s the hardest part. But also the most important.

Real leadership is about evolving on purpose

The companies that grow faster and design better aren’t just optimizing.

They’re unlearning. Fast. Intentionally. And often uncomfortably.

This is the question I’m carrying into INBOUND:

What do I need to unlearn to lead better?

If you’re asking yourself the same thing, you’re in the right room.

Not because it’s easy—because it’s necessary.